Lifestyle

On behalf of all women, thanks Miranda Kerr - for nothing

Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career
Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career Contributed

ON BEHALF of the female population of the western world, I'd like to give a very big thanks to Miranda Kerr - for nothing.

It's hard enough convincing your hubby that, having carried an actual human being (and many donuts) inside your body for nine months, things don't just snap back into their original position when the baby arrives, without having the likes of supermodel Kerr legging it down the catwalk with everything bouncing in the right places mere months after giving birth to a 10-pound child.

My jaw dropped simultaneously with those across the world when Miranda strutted her stuff as a Victoria's Secret runway model 10 months after the birth of her son, Flynn, in November last year.

Columnist Amanda Coop.
Columnist Amanda Coop. Alistair Brightman

My own bub was only a couple of months old at the time and it's fair to say I was a tad envious of her post-baby figure (let's face it, I would have been a tad envious even if I hadn't just had a bub).

Now, if the Hollywood rumour mills are to be believed (and why wouldn't they be?) she's set to do it all over again - and make scores more of us lament our physical inadequacies.

Kerr has been spotted  wearing a "floaty" dress and emerging from a doctor's appointment (insert melodramatic gasp here) so I guess that's proof enough for all the magazines to run with the story.

I'm hoping Kerr herself and hubby Orlando Bloom would get something a little more concrete, such as a positive pregnancy test or an ultrasound, before sharing the news with their families.

It's hard to tell from the photos of her so-called "bump" whether she's really expecting, since it's still somewhat smaller than my "ate too much over the weekend" bump.

For the record, no magazines have run any photos of me in floaty dresses speculating that I might be about to unleash Coop Jr the Second upon the world (and just as bloody well, since I'm not and every woman knows the most embarrassing thing that can possibly ever happen to you is being mistaken for being up the duff when you're not).

No doubt if she is preggers we'll find out in due course and watch, seething, as she gains the approximate weight of the child, then drops the weight and flies off to Paris to do a bikini shoot all before the placenta has hit the medical waste bin.

I'm not saying Miranda should turn into a fat, stretch-marked blob just to make the rest of us feel better, but it would certainly help if she did.

What happened to the Aussie spirit of taking one for the team, Miranda?

Topics:  birth, editors picks, miranda kerr, model, motherhood, mum




Stay Connected

Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.

'All I heard when my baby cried was ‘you’re a terrible mum'

APN Hey Mummy Feature for online - stock images of Katie Dykes. Photo Marc Stapelberg / The Northern Star

KATIE'S battle with PND is not unlike many mothers.

'I just thought all mums got no sleep'

MELTOPIA battled PND with all four of her children.

4 survival tips for mummas heading back to work

The few reminders every working mum needs to read.

Health and nutrition with kids - how do you balance it?

HOW important is health and nutrition in your household?

Smack or no smack - where do you stand?

THE debate is reignited - is smacking acceptable?

Technology and kids: Do you ever cut their wi-fi?

Check out our new video series featuring mums having a chat

Warm days followed by cold nights expected on weekend

It might not be quite warm enough to go to the beach, but the Fraser Coast is expected to be sunny on Saturday and Sunday.

EXPECT cold night this weekend, but warmer days.

Toogoom to host second round of Wide Bay Series

RACE ON: Darren Caruso is pictured during last year’s Wide Bay Series round at Toogoom.

Organisers hope to match last year's number of 90 entries.

Who donated to Loft and O’Connell in the election?

Mayoral candidates Chris Loft and Gerard O'Connell.

The two front-running candidates have made their donor list public

Latest deals and offers

Joel Seeney defies the odds and collects second place in the Max's muscle up challenge

Beating the odds with a point to prove - Maryborough Fitness Health and Bodyworks'...

Dry July on the Fraser Coast

Dry July - Vera Van De Velde (clinical nurse - Alcohol & Other Drugs Support Service) asking drinkers to abstain for the month of July.Photo: Alistair Brightman / Fraser Coast Chronicle

Dry July is a chance to abstain from alcohol for the month of July to raise money...

Maryborough mural poject

Maryborough artist Craig Winter dedicates his Kent Street mural to the story of the Bauer Nurses. Photo: Valerie Horton / Fraser Coast Chronicle

Craig Winter is creating the latest Maryborough Mural Project artwork.

Burnett Heads housing development approved

COUNCIL APPROVED: A Burnett Heads housing development has been approved by Bundaberg Regional Council. Photo Contributed

Councillors approved the development seven votes to four

Three bedroom, 1100sqm block: Is this Qld's cheapest home?

BARGAIN BUY: Is this North Bundaberg property the cheapest home in Queensland?

Becoming a real estate mogul is all about risk and reward