Lifestyle

Bare reality of a naked getaway

OPINION: If you've come past my house recently, you may have mistaken it for a nudist colony.

No, my clothes are remaining firmly on my body because let's face it; most of me permanently migrated south after the second child.

It seems my tiny terror has taken a sudden disliking to her clothes.

And thanks to her teasing older brother, she now thinks it's hilarious to strip down to the nickie-noo-nah and run from one end of the house to the other singing, "naked baby" at the top of her high-pitched little lungs.

When I finally catch her, I dress her and the whole scene repeats itself within a matter of minutes.

What is this?

My son never did this!

As I write this, I'm pretty sure I just heard the telltale giggling that I usually hear when she's de-robing somewhere in the house.

I think I re-dressed her five times the other day, and that was before 9am.

I've even considered whether getting the masking tape out and taping her clothes to her body is acceptable parenting.

I'm sure the courier thought I was really strange when he came past the other day and I only opened the door enough for him to slide my parcel to me through the gap. All the while I nervously smiled like I was harbouring a criminal inside.

I also suspiciously hurried the poor guy along, hoping my daughter wouldn't come and flash him during his delivery.

No Mr Courier, I don't have a criminal … I have a tiny naturalist running around the house. I can never be too sure of when her urge to strip occurs either.

I'm waiting for the moment when she decides she's had enough of her clothing while I'm out getting my coffee at the cafe, taking her to the park, or picking up some groceries.

So if you see a naked child running with a mum desperately trying to contain the wild streaker, it's probably me.

Trish Hamilton is an author based in Hervey Bay.

Topics:  author nudist opinion t.j. hamilton



Brisbane's arts and culture events centre stage

A CITY drenched in culture, Brisbane is again flaunting an arts and culture events calendar fit for a queen.

Homewares stores to fulfil your Instagram dreams

No Caption

You too can become an Insta-star with these fab stores.

Date nights under $50

Nothing is more romantic than a picnic with a cracking view.

NOT every date has to cost you a bomb.

Top 10 Brisbane experiences to cross off your bucket list

Do yourself a favour and get amongst the food truck scene. Eat Street is a great place to start.

A GOOD bucket list doesn’t have to span continents or cost millions.

Six mega sporting events you need to be at this year

Don't miss all the action trackside this season.

IF THERE is one thing Brisbane does damn well, it’s play host.

Insider’s guide to the best rooftop bars

Eleven Rooftop Bar is one to put on your hit list.

SEE the world from a different perspective...

Where to get your hands on the best wings

Try out these bad boys at Buffalo Bar.

IS THERE anything better than a wicked bowl of chicken wings? Nope.

Fraser Coast asks AEC to be part of one electorate

Llew O'Brien - federal coalition candidate for Wide Bay.Photo: Alistair Brightman / Fraser Coast Chronicle

Fraser Coast requested to be placed wholly in Wide Bay.

Upbeat sounds at Maryborough's cultural hub tonight

Irish band Slainte, whose name means cheers or good health in Gaelic, will perform at Gatakers by Night on Saturday.

Cultural evening at Gatakers Artspace

Tiaro wins battle but Bauple and Gunalda move to Gympie

AMEN ded : Changes to the Maryborough electorate after the Queensland Redistribution Commission's final determination. Blue denotes the old boundary, orange denotes the proposed changes, and red areas are those accepted in the final determination.

Tiaro will stay but other Fraser Coast towns are now in Gympie.

Local Partners

Book review: Mia Freedman's book meets her critics head on

IF AUSTRALIA does have a tall poppy syndrome, Mia Freedman has most certainly been a victim.

Model Bella Hadid's see-through dress shocks in Cannes

US model Bella Hadid attends the Cinema Against AIDS amfAR gala 2017 held at the Hotel du Cap, Eden Roc in Cap d'Antibes, France, 25 May 2017.

It’s like she’s become addicted to shock value.

No room for morbid fans

Chris Cornell.

Fans want to stay in the hotel room where Chris Cornell died

Star Wars' 1977 Stormtrooper head banger confesses

A Stormtrooper is responsible for the biggest blunder in a Star Wars movie. Picture: Supplied

Man in most famous blooper in Star Wars history breaks silence

Lyn's knock-out show gets her to next round on The Voice

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS: Lyn Bowtell is through to the battle rounds on The Voice.

'It was bitter sweet to win like that'

Report reveals progress on $319m airport upgrade

Aerials of the Sunshine Coast.Jetstar plane in front of the Susnhine Coast terminal, Sunshine Coast Airport.

Over two dozen government approvals needed for airport expansion

Lost dough leaves sour taste after company collapse

Kathleen and John Mahoney from Sugar and Spice Bakery were stung after the collapse of Cantro Pty Ltd and are still owed money.

Supermarket operator collapse leaves sour taste for bakery

Open for inspection homes May 25-31

Check out this weekend's homes open for inspection

How Toowoomba house prices compare in Australia

For sale sign in front of home.

Here's what $700,000 will buy you in Toowoomba, Brisbane and Sydney

One of Maryborough's most historic homes is still for sale

FULL OF HISTORY: Trisha Moulds is owner of the historic Tinana state known as Rosehill. The beautiful home is currently for sale.

It has been the scene of both joy and tragedies over the years.

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!