STRANGE POLITICS: Cat lovers get feral over cull
YOU can't swing a cat in the Australian outback without offending a multi-millionaire pop icon these days.
Threatened species commissioner Gregory Andrews has played pen pal to the stars to quell the hissing of two misguided celebs over the treatment of feral cats.
Their condemnation was truly withering.
Their logic was truly withered.
The Smiths former frontman Morrissey and 1950s screen siren Brigitte Bardot poked their snouts into Australia's affairs and demanded the government call off its plan to cull two million wild felines.
Morrissey's ultimatum came as derisively as expected from a bloke who once walked off the stage at a festival because he smelt barbecued meat and "hoped to God it was human."
With his vego-fascist outlook tightly blinkered, he told UK press the planned cull was "taking idiocy just too far" and called the Australian Government "a committee of sheep farmers who have zero concerns about animal welfare or animal respect".
"The cats, who keep the rodent population under control, will be killed in a ferocious manner..." he continued.
"The people of Australia would never agree to this."
Dunno about that, Moz.
Brigitte Bardot made a tad more sense in her open letter to the government, calling for the cull to be abandoned in favour of mass sterilisation.
"This animal genocide is inhumane and ridiculous," she said.
"In addition to being cruel, killing these cats is absolutely useless since the rest of them will keep breeding.
"Your country is sullied by the blood of millions of innocent animals so please, don't add cats to this morbid record."
A catch-and-release program for these gargantuan beasts was a numbskull idea, but at least the French actress realised feral cats weren't helping the Australian environment.
It is interesting to note, however, that she seems to love kitties more than humans - brown-skinned ones, at least.
The woman who spawned the phrase "sex kitten" has been convicted five times in her native France for inciting racial hatred against Muslims, most recently in 2008.
Morrissey has had his run-ins with racism accusations as well, after calling Asians a "sub-species" over their treatment of animals.
If the celebrity duo's disapproval was a thorn in the Threatened Species Commissioner's side, he hid it well.
"The lesser bilby, desert bandicoot, crescent nail tail wallaby and large-eared hopping mouse are just some of the unique Australian species that the world has lost forever due to feral cats," Mr Andrews wrote.
"Today feral cats endanger at least 124 of Australia's threatened species, which is more than one-third of our threatened mammals, reptiles, birds and frogs."
He said the two million cull target by 2020 was conservative, given there were about 20 million feral cats loose in the country.
"Scientists advise me that these feral cats kill at least five animals every night," Mr Andrews said.
"That equates to around 20 billion animals being killed every year."
Unless these cats get big enough to start harvesting our feral camel population, they have to go - even if it does get Morrissey's undies in a twist.