Dear Santa: Our teams need some help this Xmas
The big bloke with the white beard and red suit is ready for his annual whip around the world on December 25.
Let's hope Santa doesn't forget about our sporting teams when he packs up the sleigh on the North Pole. He's a busy man this time of year so we've sent him a list of what every team needs under the tree, just to help out.
We're good like that (Ah hem ... a new set of TaylorMade golf clubs wouldn't go astray for yours truly Santa).
AUSTRALIAN CRICKET TEAM: With elite honesty … somebody, anybody who can bat. An umpire who can call no-balls … where do you stop? Been a bit too naughty to get greedy.
SOUTHERN STARS: Our successful national cricket team just needs to keep getting the recognition they richly deserve.
BRISBANE BRONCOS: Already got an early present when the coaching saga mercifully came to an end. Now all they need is a halfback. Quietly excited to unwrap a new one next season but don't want to mention his name for fear of creating too much hype. Let's just say it rhymes with Banah Toyd.
NORTH QUEENSLAND: Santa is good but he can't find someone to fill the giant shoes left by Johnathan Thurston. A little luck with injuries would be wonderful.
GOLD COAST TITANS: Ash Taylor to take the next step and become one of the competition's best halfbacks. He's got it in him. Santa swung by early when he dropped off Big Mal.
QUEENSLAND MAROONS: No sudden rep footy retirements before the series. The world's best forward Matt Gillett to stay fit and healthy.
BRISBANE ROAR: A win. It's been a tough start to the season. It's that simple. A win please Santa. Please.
SOCCEROOS: Aaron Mooy's knee to make a miraculous recovery before the start of the Asian Cup in January.
QUEENSLAND REDS: No yellow cards thanks but plenty of meat pies (tries). Give the QRU board the strength to keep backing Brad Thorn as the man to lead the revival. Santa loves Thorny.
WALLABIES: A new coach. A new ARU board. Always easy to buy for.
BRISBANE HEAT: New skipper Chris Lynn's shoulder to remain intact and his eye to be as sharp as ever. If Lynn fires, so do the Heat. A crowd on the Gold Coast would be great too.
BRISBANE LIONS: Some early wins to justify the pre-season positivity. Can't be 1-7 after the first two months. That gets you on Santa's naughty list.
GOLD COAST SUNS: A forward line, a midfield, a backline…a captain that doesn't leave.
BRISBANE AFLW: A how-to-win-a-grand-final handbook. Have done a wonderful job of making two-straight AFLW deciders but have fallen short at the big dance.
BRISBANE BULLETS: A new US import to compliment the squad that is already in the NBL's top four would be delightful.
CAIRNS TAIPANS: See the Roar. Same thing. Perhaps we can get a two-for-one deal somewhere.
QUEENSLAND FIREBIRDS: Have to be patient, girls. Can't open their brand spanking new arena until January. A smooth transition into life with Laura Geitz would be the cherry on top.
SUNSHINE COAST LIGHTNING: They've already got two Suncorp Super Netball trophies under their tree. The return of Laura Langman was an early present too.